It was a damp Wednesday in the consulting room when Hatson burst through the door with the agitated look of a man who has just paid full retail.
"Holmes," he said. "I have made a terrible mistake."
I did not look up from my pipe. "You purchased a fitted from the manufacturer."
He paled. "How could you possibly know that?"
"You are holding a New Era shipping box and you are not smiling. Sit down, Hatson. We have work to do."
The Evidence
The box, as it turned out, contained the Montgomery Biscuits Bacon Theme Night 59FIFTY. A minor league cap. From Alabama. With bacon on it. Hatson, to his credit, had identified the cap as both joyful and necessary. He had simply, as is his habit, identified the joy at the wrong storefront.
Exhibit A. The Bay Republic, a Tampa-based merchant of Rays and Rowdies wares, is presently offering the cap at $21.00. Marked down from $42. A fifty percent reduction. The kind of number that makes a man hum on the walk home.
Exhibit B. New Era's own flagship store, the very company that manufactured the cap, is offering the identical item at $50.99. No discount. No coupon. No mercy.
Hatson, of course, had purchased Exhibit B.
The Deduction
Same New Era 59FIFTY. Same Biscuits theme night embroidery. Same gray undervisor, per New Era's product copy. Same one-hundred-percent polyester construction. Same bacon, Hatson. The same bacon.
The spread is $29.99.
Phrased another way: Hatson paid approximately 142% more than necessary for the hat. Phrased yet a third way, in the language of the streets: he got got.
"But Holmes," Hatson protested, examining the cap, "is it not the SAME cap?"
"Precisely, Hatson."
"From the SAME factory?"
"You are nearly there, my friend."
"Then why," he said, voice rising, "does the company that MADE it charge nearly DOUBLE what a Tampa Bay Rays gift shop is charging?"
I lit my pipe. "Because, HatlockHolmes.com didn't exist until recently."
The Verdict
If your dome measures 7, 7 1/4, 7 3/4, or 8 (list as of June 8th, 2026) and if the prospect of wearing a bacon-themed minor league baseball cap from Montgomery, Alabama brings you the slightest flicker of delight (and reader, if it does not, I question whether this hobby is for you), The Bay Republic listing is the answer.
Hatson is going to print a return label.
Case closed. Enjoy the site Holmie.
- Hatlock